


Band aids

by TheRaspberryPancake



Series: Countdown [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: After A Relationship, Aftermath, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Coffee Shops, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Fluff and Angst, House Party, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Manipulation Aftermath, Movie Night
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:09:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 21,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26088466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRaspberryPancake/pseuds/TheRaspberryPancake
Summary: It's been three years since the soulmate incident and Tsukishima and Hinata never spoke since. Tsukishima ended up quitting the volleyball team and avoided every one of them throughout the rest of his high school life. Now he's in college and ends up getting reunited with his emotionally manipulative ex. When Hinata claims he's changed, will he believe him?
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Tsukishima Kei, Kageyama Tobio/Kindaichi Yuutarou, Kuguri Naoyasu/Shibayama Yuuki, Yachi Hitoka/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: Countdown [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1880848
Comments: 10
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second story in the Countdown series. If you have not read the first story, this probably will not make sense. Just thought I would let you know.

**~Tsukishima~**

Tokyo Central college is a lot less intimidating now then when I came here on the tours. Back then it seemed so big and daunting, yes tall guys like me can indeed feel daunted by things oh my god stop being heightist, but now it just seems so normal. I don't know why that is. The only thing that's changed between then and now is that now I'm a student here but, even so, it's still my first time coming back here since I got my acceptance letter so in theory it shouldn't feel as different as it does. Why am I even putting this much thought into this? It's probably to distract myself, thinking about it. I'm worried, in all honesty. The upside of coming to a college in Tokyo is that I won't have to deal with any of those damn liars from Karasuno anymore. However, the downside is that I don't know any of the first years here, as far as I'm aware, which means that I actually have to meet people. I haven't had to make new friends in three years now. Even after breaking off my friendship with my old team and distancing myself from them, I wasn't alone throughout my last two years of high school. Some of the people in my class, like, adopted me into their group after I explained what had happened with...him.

He fucked me up so much worse then I ever could've imagined. That initial freak out when I found out back at volleyball practice? Just the tip of the fucking iceberg, in every sense of the word. The immediate aftermath was full of hurt, pain, and locking myself in my room for a week. I wouldn't eat. I spent most of my time sleeping. I dead ass refused to go to school for a whole month and, even once I came back, everything had changed. I cut ties with everyone from the volleyball team and completely started again. Can you blame me for that? They lied to me, especially him. So yeah, to this day I want nothing to do with them and that's why I applied to a university in Tokyo, so I could get away from him. He gave me too many trust issues to count and I'm not ready to risk getting more of them.

There are people all around me, all walking in on the first day. The difference between them and me is that they're all walking together with other people in little groups of their own, presumably with people they've known since at least high school, some of them probably earlier, while I'm walking completely by myself. I must look like a right loner right now, walking alone with my headphones on. Is anyone staring? I hope they're not. Again, why do I care? I never used to care about people staring at me, I'd just tell them to go fuck themselves so why is it bothering me? Man, I'm basically a whole different person, why am I only just noticing this?

Sighing to myself, I turn up my music just a little. The song is blood in the water from that legally blonde musical. My playlist has quite a lot of musical songs on it nowadays, I have Akane to thank for that. Akane and I became friends in our second year when we ended up with seats next to each other. Naturally, we got chatting and soon she made her way into our group. Then one day we had a group study session and she put on the soundtrack to avenue q and now I'm basically addicted to musicals, not that I'm complaining. It's just something new to consider a hobby since I dropped volleyball. Akane herself was part of the school's drama club, I came to the play to see her in both second and third year. I won't lie, she was pretty good. I wish we could've gone to college together but she went to one of the local ones instead. I couldn't risk going local in case I had to deal with him and his friends for another three years. I'll miss her though, even though we agreed to stay in touch.

Anyway, I need to find out where the hell my dorm is. I got the email about it a few days ago, my room number is 103 but I have absolutely no idea where that is. Maybe I could ask someone for help? Yeah, that's a good idea. Hopefully I won't intimidate them so much that they run away, it's not like that's never happened before. Now just to find someone who looks like they could help me. It's a lot easier to tell who the older years are when you're in high school because there's usually somewhat of a height difference between them, except if you're a fucking string bean like me, but in college everyone's basically stopped growing so it's a lot harder to tell. Oh well, we'll probably get told where the dorms are at orientation. If I follow everyone else, I should find where that is and all.

I hoist my bag up my shoulders, it's quite heavy considering how little I packed. I just packed a few clothes, enough to get me through a week before I have to do laundry, my laptop and various chargers and, of course, my school stuff. I wish someone would tell you how expensive the books are before you apply for college; I basically had to take out a mortgage just to afford the damn things. They're bloody heavy as well, it's quite irritating. Nah, fuck my previous idea, there's no way I'm carrying this damn thing all the way through orientation. Someone will be able to help me, right?

After looking around for a bit, I spot a small, black haired boy leaning against a wall texting someone. Maybe he'll be able to help me. Besides, approaching a person who's stood alone is a lot less intimidating than approaching a whole group. "Excuse me?" I pull my headphones off, letting them hang around my neck, and walk over to him.

He lets out a small squeak, probably of surprise, and looks up at me. "Y-yes?-..." He seems to calm down a little and looks at me almost as if he's examining me. I won't lie, it's kind of creepy. "...Tsukishima Kei, right?" Wait hold up, how does he know me? Should I know him? He certainly looks familiar but I don't know why, is that bad? I just nod, looking at him with a confused expression. He looks back at me for a second before speaking again. "Oh- sorry I probably just freaked you out... I'm Shibayama Yuki, we played against each other in volleyball back in our first year of high school."

Oh, we did? Damn, the last time I played volleyball was three years ago so no wonder I don't remember him. What school was he from again? I don't actually remember playing against him in an official match, maybe he was a bench warmer? He can't be taller then five foot five so I assume he was a backup libero. "Sorry, I don't remember you that well." I smile down at him awkwardly. A couple of years ago, there's no way I would've been this nice straight off the bat but I'm in college now and I don't know anyone so having Shibayama as a friend maybe wouldn't be too bad. "What school did you go to?"

"Sorry sorry, I probably should've told you that from the start." He smiled back at me. "I was a libero for Nekoma. You probably don't remember me though, I was mostly on the bench until Yaku san graduated and after first year you stopped showing up to matches." Well no shit, I quit the team. Oh wait, he probably doesn't know that. "Where did you go? That freckled guy replaced you as a middle blocker but he was never as good... not that I'm complaining! It just made it easier for us to beat you!...or something..." He looks down, almost in shame. It's kind of weird to watch. Does he have, like, internalised social anxiety or something? Nah, it's more likely to just be a fear of upsetting people. After all, he was chatting away happily just a minute ago.

I shrug. "Nah, don't worry about complaining or whatever you were trying to say. I quit the team after... an incident that wasn't going to get resolved any time soon." Yeah I'm being vague but I don't particularly want to go into detail about it. Can you blame me for that? He's looking even more confused now; I think it's time to change the subject. "Anyway, can you help me out with something? I need to find out where the dorms are, there's no way I'm carrying this damn bag the whole way through orientation."

He nods pretty quickly actually. I wasn't expecting him to give an answer that fast. "Yeah, they're off to the right behind the main building. I came here to visit my sister last year so I kind of know my way around." That's great and all but I didn't really ask. He laughs sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Anyways... what's your dorm number? I'll walk you there if you want."

Huh, now that's an offer I'll take up but only because I don't feel like getting lost. "Uhh sure thing, go for it. My dorm is number 103."

His eyes widen for a second and then a smile creeps onto his face, slowly but surely. Well fuck me this can't be good. I mean, I wouldn't mind rooming with this guy, he seems pretty chill but somehow I have a feeling that that's not what he's smiling about. "Oh really? My friend Lev has that room number to." Wait no, you're kidding right? Oh my god, I don't remember much about Lev but I remember him being really fucking annoying. God, I hope he's joking. "Come on, it's not that far of a walk." He smiles over his shoulder at me and starts walking. I just follow behind him. Well, let's just hope that my maybe roommate has matured a bit since we last saw each other.


	2. Chapter 2

**~Hinata~**

I check the number on the door again. Yeah, this is definitely room 215. "See Yachi, I told you I wouldn't get lost on the way here!" Yes, I have been on the phone to Yachi since orientation ended. She told me to check in with her once I got there so that she knew I was ok. Thing is, in true me fashion, I missed the first train and arrived just before orientation so I haven't had time to call her until now. I felt kind of bad about it at first because I promised her I'd call as soon as I got there but she didn't mind at all so it's all ok. She told me I worry too much about hurting people's feelings nowadays but that's just how I am. Ever since the incident it's just been planted in my brain that I need to think about how much I could hurt people. It doesn't sound like a bad thing when I say it like that but then it turned into an obsession and now here I am, just a college student with a deadly fear of upsetting people by being ignorant and self centred.

She giggles down the phone. "Yeah yeah, can you blame me for doubting you?" Well, no but that's not the point. "Anyway, I'll leave you to settle into your dorm or whatever now. Byeeeeeee~" I open my mouth to say goodbye to her but she's already hung up. Well that's a shame. At least she won't think I'm rude because she did hang up before I got the chance to say it back. It's a shame that we had to go to different colleges, I'm going to miss her and Kags and Yama, but I couldn't turn down the scholarship especially since there's no way I'll get into a different college based on my grades. Despite three years passing, I did just stay stupid. In all honesty, I'm still in shock that I got a volleyball scholarship here. Tokyo Central has one of the strongest teams in the prefecture and they actually wanted me! It's quite flattering actually, I won't lie.

I slip the key into the lock and turn it, hearing the lock click in the door so I push it open. Looking around, I expected to meet my new roommate for the year but the room is completely empty. There isn't even any bags or boxes or, well, anything to suggest that someone else is staying here. Maybe they just haven't arrived yet or they're coming on a later date. Who am I to judge? Honestly, it's definitely a blessing in disguise in my humble opinion. It just means that I get first choice of what bed I want. Hmm... that's a tough choice... the one by the window probably seems like the best choice! Wait no, what if the curtains hang over part of the bed so the sun still wakes me up even when they're closed. Maybe the bed on the other side of the room would be better? Yeah, that one's closer to the bathroom anyway. I walk into the room and dump my backpack on the bed, immediately feeling the weight get lifted off my shoulders. I leave the suitcase that I've been lugging around all day next to the closet, I'll unpack that in a bit. I'm super dreading unpacking my bags because I packed way too much stuff. Like, I don't even need half this stuff and I know for a fact that I'm going to struggle to find somewhere to put it.

I flop down on the bed and look up at the ceiling, my hands resting either side of my head. It's quite comfy, I won't lie. At least I'll sleep well for the next year, right? I feel sorry for whoever my roommate is though, if they can't deal with loud people then they're one hundred percent screwed because I never know when to shut up. I'm amazed that my high school friends managed to put up with me for three whole years. And how the hell did Izumi and Koji manage to put up with me the whole way through middle school? Jeez, I swear my respect for those guys just tripled in the past minute. Sure, I may be becoming a bit insecure about how overly loud I am but am I about to change? Nah. Changing yourself requires actual self control and I don't have that either. I wish I did but oh well, not everyone can have what they want. Besides, if they really care about me they can deal with me.

Unless they can't deal with me. Unless I hurt them again like I hurt him and I give someone else long lasting trust issues and force them to push all their friends away and-... God, I need to stop and calm down. I can't hurt him anymore now, he's not at this college. At least, I don't think he is. No, he definitely won't be here, he probably went to a local college like the rest of the first years. Besides, even if he was here we won't have to actually talk to each other because there's no way he'll want to get involved with me again, not after what I did...

God, it still blows my mind to this day. I can't believe I actually did that. So much planning went into it. Sure, it was Yachi's idea at first but I didn't even consider the possibility of it going wrong, I just blindly went along with it. I took the reigns. I made it my own plan, not hers. It was me who convinced the whole team to go along with it, which was a hard enough task as is. It was me who wrote on that damn number everyday. It was me who believed it would work out like my life depended on it. I messed everything up. Not Yachi. Not the team. Me. I'm a horrible damn person and he's so lucky that he cut me off when he did. I didn't deserve him. I still don't, I don't deserve anyone because I'm a horrible damn person and-

I need to stop thinking literally right now. I'm not in high school anymore; I'm a college student now in a school that no one from Karasuno went to, no one that I know of anyway. This is an opportunity for a fresh start! Why don't I just take it? Besides, even if it all goes wrong here it's not like I lost contact with my old friends. Hell, we're even doing a group face time tonight to catch up with each other, not that there's much to catch up on because the last time we all spoke was like yesterday but it'll still be fun! At least, I hope it will be.

I also hope that my roommate turns up soon. I wonder what they'll be like. I know that a couple of the Nekoma first years also got accepted here so maybe it'll be one of them. Yeah, it's a slim chance but it'd still be pretty cool. Plus, it'd be a lot easier to room with someone I've met before but, if it is someone I don't know, that's cool to! I don't have a problem with making new friends! I've just got to not mess it up and we'll be good.


	3. Chapter 3

**~Tsukishima~**

I'm amazed that I actually made it to the lecture on time today. I was convinced that somewhere along the line my shitty mental health would kick in and I'd end up wasting away in bed for the rest of the day, only moving when either I feel hungry or I start to hate the taste of my own mouth. However, I proved myself wrong. I never fail to amaze myself, huh. Anyway, so far I can't see anyone I know in this class which is a positive, means coming to this college was worth it after all.

So far I only know three people here. Well, I know two and I've been introduced to one. Lev, my roommate, is a veterinary science major so we don't have any lectures together. However, most of them are on at the same time so, unfortunately, we end up in the dorm together a lot at the time. Shibayama, who I apparently knew in high school, is an art major and his boyfriend Kuguri, who he introduced me to yesterday at orientation, is a physics major. So yeah, I don't share any lectures with them either. In theory, this is a perfect opportunity to make some new friends, hopefully stable and not emotionaly manipulative, but just by looking around the lecture hall I'm realising that everyone has already fucked off into their own cliques. I could try and introduce myself to them but, in all honesty, they don't look very welcoming. They seem like the kind of people who have known each other all their lives and share the same dream and are following it together. Man, it'd be great if I wasn't basically forced to cut off my lifelong friend. I wonder how Tadashi's doing right now... wait, no! I can't think about him! Now now, not ever! Because if I think about him for too long then I'll get stuck back in the mindset I was in back then and that's not where I want to be right at the start of college, no thank you.

And that's when the door opens again and someone else walks in. He's small and ginger and he has this dumb sparkle in his eyes. My heart drops. It's... it's him. What the hell is he doing here?! Why isn't he at a Miyagi college? He had his eyes on one of them, right? At least that's what I overheard. Why didn't he go there? Why does the damn kid, the damn emotionally manipulative kid, keep following me? He's like a curse or some shit! Why can't I get free?! I feel my stomach tie itself up in knots. What do I do? Should I leave? No, I can't leave because then he'll see me. He might not even know I'm here right now and if I leave now I'll have to walk past him and then he'll definitely know that I'm here. My best bet is just to sit here and hope to any god that I don't believe in that he doesn't see me.

I sink down in my seat slightly and try my best to just focus on... well, I was about to start focusing on the lecture but it hasn't even started yet. I don't know, maybe I can just focus on the wall or count the number of floorboards I can see, anything to distract myself. I'm looking around now, examining every crevice in the wall, but I can't get my attention away from him. My eyes keep drifting back to him, looking him up and down. Not in a checking him out way though, as if I would ever do that again, more in a making sure that it is definitely him way. Yeah, it's him alright. He's wearing a baggy grey hoodie right now, I swear I recognise it from somewhere... wait, is that not the hoodie that I lent him that one time? That little snake, why the fuck hasn't he given it back? Not like I want it back anymore anyway, it's contaminated with emotional manipulator germs now.

He's walking towards me now. Oh fuck, he's coming over! What does he want with me? Leave me alone you mosquito ass bitch! Wait, is he sitting next to me? Oh my god he's really sitting next to me like nothing happened. What is he thinking? Maybe he doesn't recognise me. No, he definitely recognises me. I really haven't changed that much since high school. Why is this happening to me?

**~Hinata~**

Yes, I did recognise Tsukishima the moment I walked into the room. Yes, I am currently sitting next to him. This is probably a horrible idea, considering we haven't spoken in three years and we didn't exactly break up on good terms, but I didn't think about that when I did it and now it's way too late to back out. Fuck, what do I do now? Talk to him? Wow, yeah, because talking to him would go so well. He'll probably just ignore me. This is not the situation I expected to be in when I woke up today considering that I didn't even know that he was at this college until now. I can't just sit here in silence for the whole two hours though, right? I mean, I could but it doesn't sound particularly appealing. "...Fancy seeing you here, Tsukishima." I flash him a brief smile.

"Hm..." He doesn't even respond with words, just a noise. I probably should've expected that he wouldn't want to talk to me.

Now we're both sat in silence, awkwardly looking away from each other. He's leaning on the wooden, like, table in front of us. I'm tugging at my fingers and humming to myself. This was a terrible idea. How long until the lecture starts now? I check the clock, we still have twenty minutes There's no way I can just sit here for twenty minutes and say nothing! "How come you chose this school then?" A simple question that only needs a simple response. It should be enough to start up a conversation though, right?

He's... side eyeing me now but his face is glaring. "I came here so I wouldn't have to see you or your band of backstabbing friends again." He stands up, gathering his things, and moves off to the other end of the row, sliding into a different free seat, one without another empty seat next to it. Great, now I can't even move next to him again. As if I couldn't mess this up any more then I already have...

Well, at least I'm hanging out with Lev and Shibayama today. They're coming over to my dorm later today so that we can catch up while I unpack. It's not like there's much to catch up on though; we all saw each other during our third year, both at nationals and at the various practice matches our school had together but we haven't spoken at all over the break so I'm sure we can make conversation about that! Maybe my roommate will be here today. It'd be nice to finally meet them! I'm beginning to zone out now. Let's just hope that the lecture starts soon...


	4. Chapter 4

**~Hinata~**

The lecture ended about an hour ago. As you know, it didn't go well with Tsukishima but that's ok! I don't give up easily! I won't do anything drastic to get him to notice me, not this time. I'll just make little attempts to start a friendly conversation with him and we'll see where it goes from there!

After the lecture ended, I went down to the nearest vending machine and bought myself a drink, a nice can of Fanta. It's been a while since I've had it and, honestly, I have no idea how I survived. It's just so good! Anyway, I'm stood there drinking my drink and you'll never guess who I saw. Lev! I haven't seen him since high school ended which, as I've mentioned before, isn't actually that long but that doesn't mean I didn't miss him. I went over to him and we talked for a bit and he offered to come back to my dorm with me and 'help me unpack' which I'm pretty sure is Lev-code for hang out in private. With any luck though it won't be private because my roommate will have finally got here! I can't wait to meet them, whoever they are!

"So, who's your roommate Shoyo?" Lev snaps me back to reality, coincidentally with the same topic I was just thinking about. "Are they a high school friend? Oh, do you think they're cute? Maybe it's time to finally move on and... well, having a roommate for a boyfriend would be hella convenient. Imagine all the alone time you could get." He winks and I roll my eyes in response. He chuckles. "Calm down, I'm just messing with you."

"Sureeee you were." I sigh and fold my arms, looking up as him as we walk. The halls are pretty empty so I can afford to do that without the risk of bumping into anyone. "And I haven't actually met him yet. When I got here, the dorm was empty and he hasn't arrived since."

He furrows his brow. "Huh, that's weird. You would've thought they'd be here seeing as the semester started today." He shrugged, the normal chill look returning to his face. "But that's a good thing, right? Just means that you get more time to yourself."

"It's not a good thing Lev." I pout. "It's really lonely and everyone else gets a friend."

"Or an enemy." He points out. "There's no guarantee that you'll actually get on with one another." I raise my eyebrows. If you're sharing a room with someone for three years, surely you're better off getting along with them. "Don't give me that look Hinata." He rolls his eyes. "I'm rooming with Tsukishima, for Christ's sake. At least feel a little sorry for me!"

Wait, Lev's seriously roommates with Tsukishima? Man he's lucky. I side eye him. "I can't feel sorry for someone I'm jealous of."

"You're seriously jealous?" He raises his eyebrows and chuckles to himself. Do not laugh at me for making a point! That's rude! "Man, so you really are still obsessed with him... I thought you would've moved on by now. He did break up with you three years ago or something like that, it's not like you haven't had time to get over him."

I sigh. "It's not like I haven't had time to get over him, I just don't want to. Besides, it's none of your damn business." I jam my hands into the pockets of the hoodie. I feel like I should've given Tsukishima his hoodie back when we broke up but he never actually asked for it back so I kept it. It's actually really comfy and I wear it all the time when it's cold. Even though I've grown a little, it's still really baggy on me which I like. I'm so glad I kept it. "Anyway, we're here." I fish my key out of my back pocket and unlock the door. I push the door open and... there's actually someone there. My eyes widen. "Onion head, it's you!"

The guy sat on the bed I didn't take looks at me. I can't remember his name but I know he was Kageyama's middle school teammate. He rolls his eyes. "Don't call me onion head, shrimpy. I have a name. Use it." Well that's rude and pretty hypocritical as well seeing as my name isn't shrimpy. Besides, I don't even remember his name so saying that really isn't going to change anything. "In case you forgot, I'm Yutaro Kindaichi." Wait what the hell? I swear he can read minds! "But it's rude to forget people's names, Hinata." He chuckles slightly.

I frown. "Don't patronise me. I know a lot of people and you're not high up on the importance chain. For Christ's sake, I haven't spoken to you in a year and we didn't talk for very long. I only know you because of Kageyama." So I'm sharing a room with onion head? Huh... this could be interesting. I walk over and sit down on my bed, signalling for Lev to sit beside me. "I don't think you two have met. Lev, this is Kindaichi from Aoba Johsai. He's really petty and has a bad history with Kageyama."

"Oi! I'm not petty, you damn shrimp." He growls his words slightly. If this was a couple of years ago, he totally would've intimidated me. However, nowadays I'm past the point of caring so it doesn't bother me one bit.

"Oh whatever." I roll my eyes before plastering on my familiar sweet smile. "Kindaichi, this is Lev from Nekoma. He's tall, like really tall, and he's half Russian. He's pretty cool." I lean back, my back pressing against the wall. "Anyway, we're going to hang out and play some video games. Maybe we'll unpack, I don't know. If you want to join us, that's fine! The more the merrier!" I know that I was just a little mean to him but I'm being serious. Having another player would be great, plus it'd be more of a laugh. "Ooh, we could play ultimate chicken horse!"

"Ultimate chicken horse?" He blinks at me a couple of times before coming and sitting beside me on the bed. "What's that? I've never heard of it."

"Oh, it's this really fun game that me and Shoyo played together at one of the training camps." Lev laughs a little, almost sheepishly. "He snuck into Nekoma's room in second year and we played it together. Inuoka joined us as well. It was pretty fun." As I go over and grab three controllers, handing one to the pair and keeping one for myself, he keeps talking. "You basically have to get to the end of the level, it gives you points. You get to place a piece of the level every round so it's more a game about fucking over your friends."

"Huh..." He nods slowly, clearly thinking. "Alright, I'm in. But this better not be a waste of time."

I giggle a little. "Oh, it won't be. Don't you worry."


	5. Chapter 5

**~Hinata~**

I look up at Kindaichi as we walk to the lecture hall. Yes, he is also taking sports science so we can wake up at the same time and walk together. It's not really that important but it's actually nice to have some company, you know? "Do you think he'd leave if I tried to sit with him again?" I only want to start a conversation with Tsukishima. It doesn't have to be long or anything but I still like him and I can't be close to him again, even if it's just as friends, if we never talk.

Kindaichi looks back down at me with raised eyebrows. "I highly fucking doubt it. From what Lev told me last night, you two don't seem to be on great terms." Oh yeah, Kindaichi knows that Tsukki and I used to date now. He doesn't know what I did, thank god, but he knows that we didn't exactly break up on good terms. "But you might as well try. It's not like you're going to give up..." He sighs, clearly annoyed by me but I don't really care. We're still friends and I'm too much for most people to handle at times!

"But Kindaichi." I pout slightly. "You're good with conversations and I need advice! What do I say to him? How do you start a conversation with someone who hates you?"

"I'm really not the right person to ask about this-"

I cut him off before he can finish. "Didn't you start a conversation with Kageyama that one time? Last time I checked, you two hated each other in first year!" He glares at me. Maybe I went too far with that one? "Come on Kindaichi, please? I really need some advice here."

He sighs again and folds his arms. "I don't know man, I'm really not the right person to ask this. How about asking him if you can borrow his notes from the lecture I missed? Everyone knows that your notes are shit so there's no way I'd ask for yours. It's stupid but it just might work."

"Huh...that's actually not a half bad idea." He smiled. "Good job Kindaichi! I'll try that." He grumbles something along the lines of 'don't patronise me' under his breath but I ignore it. We go into the lecture hall and I spot Tsukishima, making my way over to him. "Tsukishima, hey. Can we talk for a second?"

He raises his eyebrows and then glares at me. "Absolutely not. Now fuck off, you damn shrimp."

He turns to walk off but I step in front of him. "Please? It doesn't have to last long! Kindaichi wanted me to ask you if he can borrow your notes because he missed the first lecture. Apparently mine are too messy to read..." I force a pout that only lasts for a couple of seconds. "He'll give them back though, either that or I'll give them back for him. So can he borrow them?"

He sighs and sits back down in his seat, not bothering to leave when I sit down beside him. "Fine I guess... here." He digs the notes out of his bag and hands them to me.

Smiling, I carefully fold them up and put them in my pocket. "Thanks, I'll give them to him after this." I lean on the wooden table in front of us and smile at him. "Anyway, how have you been? It's been three years, right?" What am I doing? This was going so well and I'm actually trying to start a conversation? He clearly doesn't want to talk to me! Oh my god Shoyo you idiot! I feel my lungs starting to close up. What do I do now? Do I apologise? Yeah, I should apologise.

"Eh, I've been ok." Wait what? Did he actually just respond to me? Uh oh, this isn't good. What if I mess up in this conversation and make him hate me even more? Actually thinking about it I doubt I have to worry about that because I don't think he could hate me any more if he tried. "What about you?" Oh my god, he's actually continuing the conversation and asking me questions? What is going on here?

"Uh... yeah, I've been pretty good." My smile grows wider as I stammer over my words. Is this actually happening or am I just dreaming? I was totally expecting him to just run away from me again! "High school was ok... would've been better if you were still part of my life though..." I whispered that last part so he couldn't hear it. He didn't ask what I said, thank god, and to be honest it's probably because he doesn't care. He's probably only continuing this conversation to be polite. "I was going to go to the same college as Yachi and the others but then I got a volleyball scholarship here. Oh, did you know we went to nationals again in our third year and actually won?-"

"Yes, yes I am completely aware of that. The whole school knew about that." He rolled his eyes. "It's not like I moved schools, you fucking idiot, I just stopped hanging around you guys because you're toxic pieces of shit." Yeah, I definitely pushed too far. I messed up! Jesus Christ I messed up! What do I do now? "...sorry, that was uncalled for." He sighs. Wait, why is he apologising? "I stand by what I said but there wasn't any need for that." There was perfect need for that! I am indeed a pretty toxic person so I don't understand why he's apologising for it. I should be the one apologising, right? Or am I tripping? Oh my god this entire encounter is giving me such mixed emotions... "You know, because you have my notes right now and if I'm too mean to you I might never get them back." Ah yeah, that explains a lot. So the moment he has the notes back he's going to go back to ignoring me? Well, I have until he has them back to convince him not to! But not right now because the lecture's starting. The whole room goes silent, leaving me alone with my thoughts again.


	6. Chapter 6

**~Tsukishima~**

I honestly can not believe my fucking roommate right now. He knows that Hinata and I are on bad terms. He knows everything that happened; I know he does because he told me exactly what Hinata told him which wasn't too far from the truth but I still had to fill in the blanks sometimes. Anyway, _apparently_ the fact that we're not on good terms doesn't matter because he only went and invited the bitch and his onion-headed roommate round for a study session with the additional perk of some alcohol. Why couldn't they do this at their dorm? Now I've actually got to join in and socialise because they're being loud and I can't focus on anything else, not while Hinata is in here.

So that's how I ended up in this situation - sitting around a table with one person I hate and two people I tolerate, drinking alcohol and studying. I'm drinking slowly actually, only taking a small sip every ten minutes or so. Hinata, on the other hand, is basically black out drunk already. For fuck's sake, I thought you were supposed to be studying. If you wanted to get drunk with your friends, go to a fucking bar. I can't say that to him though. I have to be nice to him for now because I still haven't got my fucking notes back. Kindaichi might have them by now, in which case I can go back to being rude, but I'm not risking it.

Lev and Kindaichi are both drinking at a steady pace, still faster than I am though. They're only slightly tipsy but they're still louder and more obnoxious than ever. Lev is looking into the vodka bottle now, staring right down the centre of it. "Aww man..." He sighs. "The bottle's empty..." Good, it just means that you won't get any more annoying and we can actually get some studying done.

Kindaichi shrugs. "We could always go and get more."

No, let's not go and get more. That's a recipe for disaster especially if Hinata gets his hands on it. I have to say something to stop them. Let's be real, I'm probably the only person with braincells in this room. "I think it's a bit late to be going out to buy more alcohol. It's dark and we're in the middle of Tokyo. Anything could happen. Whoever goes could be attacked or something." That'll deter them, right? It better fucking stop them.

"Good point..." Kindaichi runs his fingers through his hair, clearly deep in thought. "In that case, Lev and I will go together." Wait what, no! That wasn't part of the plan! "Seeing as you clearly don't want to go and Hinata is in no state to go anywhere, you can stay here together." Oh my god, I'm actually going to beat the fuck out of him next time we're alone together. Kindaichi, you better fucking pray for your ass.

I'm about to open my mouth to argue with him but they've already gone, leaving me and Hinata alone at the table. "Great..." I sigh, resting my palm in my cheek, my elbow on the table, and staring at the wall.

Hinata's looking at me. I can't see him right now, I'm not looking at him, but I can feel his eyes basically burning into me. "...Kei?..." His words are slurred but he still sounds sad. "...why are you ignoring me?...that's mean..." God, he sounds like a lost puppy when he's upset. It's both cute and infuriating at the same time. I stay in silence for a couple of minutes until he speaks again. "It's because of what I did, isn't it?...damn it Tsukki I said I was sorry!..."

"Sorry doesn't cut it Hinata." That wasn't supposed to come out as growly as it did but oh well, I don't feel bad.

"I know and I'm sorry!..." He sniffles slightly. Wait, is the bitch actually crying? Oh my god. He's not about to start playing the victim now is he. "I'm a bad person, I get it! I'm sorry! God damn it, I wish I actually died that day!"

My eyes widen slightly but I still don't look at him. "I think that's a bit far-"

"It's not far! If anything it's not far enough!" He needs to calm down. If he doesn't stop shouting, we're going to get noise complaints. "I feel awful about it! I'm a horrible person and I deserve to be dead! I never stopped feeling guilty for it and I'm sorry! I'm sorry that I still love you! I'm sorry I-" He passed out, slumped down against the table. The alcohol must've finally got to him.

I sigh. "Dumbass..." I can't just leave him here passed out, right? Again, I don't like the kid but it'd be best if he actually woke up in his own dorm. I pick him up, he's still as light as ever, and start walking back to his dorm. It's not actually that far away from mine, just down a couple of corridors on the floor below, so I'll probably get back before the other two are back with the alcohol. His words keep echoing in my head. He still loves me? Man, he stays hung up on things. That's probably why he kept my hoodie, thinking about it. He's wearing it right now _and_ he was wearing it at the lecture yesterday and at the first one. In fact, I'm pretty sure he's worn it to all of them. Does he wear it all the time or is it just his go to hoodie? It has been pretty cold recently so it's probably the second option. Even though I hate him, the fact that he feels bad about what he did and, you know, that he actually apologised makes me feel somewhat better. Maybe he's actually changed... No, he hasn't changed at all. This is the kid who faked his own death to get me to date him. He admitted that he still loves me and I doubt anything else he said is genuine. Crazy little bitch... He is a cute crazy little bitch though. Even after all this time, I can't argue with that. Maybe one day he'll find someone who he can manipulate all he pleases but that person is not me.


	7. Chapter 7

**~Hinata~**

My eyes fluttered open and I looked around the room. I was back in my dorm room, in my own bed, which was strange because I don't remember going to bed. In fact, I don't remember anything from after we arrived at Lev's dorm. Maybe I was dreaming that? Yeah, that's probably it. I must've woken up when we 'got there' and that's why I can't remember anything else, it never even happened. I yawn and sit up. My head is absolutely killing me and I feel like I'm going to throw up and pass out at the same time. Am I hungover? Wow, I didn't think I would've drank that much considering I know my limits... Or do I? I really don't have much faith in myself anymore.

What time is it? Do I have class today? Wait, isn't it Saturday? I think I'm good on the class front. I mean, it could be Sunday. I'm not entirely sure but it has to be one of the two. If we had class today, there's no way that Kindaichi would've agreed to get drunk with us. Lev totally would but Kindaichi definitely would not. I swear he's the only one out of the three of us who actually cares about passing his degree but that's to be expected, me and Lev got scholarships but he didn't. I wonder how expensive it was, not that it's any of my business.

I should probably get out of bed but I really don't feel like moving. Grabbing my phone and making sure to turn the brightness down, I check the time. It's one in the afternoon?! Damn, I slept for ages! I'm definitely hungover; that's the only time I ever sleep in this long. Is Kindaichi still here? I look around and find him sat on his bed on his phone, surprise surprise. "Kindaichi?"

He looks at me. "You're finally awake huh? Took you long enough, shrimp." He put his phone down. "You were absolutely wasted last night. Poor Tsukishima had to take you back here."

My eyes widen. "W-wait seriously? Tsukki had to help me out?" Oh my god that's so embarrassing! Especially since he hates my guts! No wonder I can't remember anything! Wait, if he really hated me why would be help me get back to my dorm? Maybe he doesn't _actually_ hate me as much as he says he does. Maybe he still has a soft spot for me. No, definitely no. Am I forgetting what I did to him - the reason we broke up? He still hates me and the only reason he took me back here was probably because he didn't want me drunk in his dorm. I'm annoying when I'm drunk, Kageyama used to say so.

Kindaichi sighs, rolling his eyes, and folds his arms. "Yes seriously. Shouldn't you know your limits? Be more careful next time. You don't want to put yourself in a vulnerable state like that in front of someone who hates you. That's just stupid." Pfft yeah right, like Tsukki would actually do anything. As bad as I am, I doubt he considers murder as an option. "Apparently you spilled your guts about how you were feeling or some shit like that. Guilt and low self esteem? Seriously? Lame."

Now that _definitely_ caught my attention. That's a big issue. Did I seriously tell him _everything_ that I'm feeling about the incident and what I did? Oh my god no, this is awful! What if he thinks I'm playing the victim? I'm not the victim here, he is! I'm such a horrible person! How the hell am I going to fix this? I already had enough to fix without throwing this in on top of it! "Damn it..." I finally haul myself out of bed, throwing on Tsukki's old hoodie, which is ironic when you think about it, and changing into some jeans. You know, something I can get away with leaving the dorm in without looking like an idiot. I really don't need people judging me right now. "I'm going out, ok?"

"Yeah yeah whatever, why would I care?" Well that's not very nice onion head! However, it is useful because I don't need him asking me loads of questions about where I'm going. Wait, where am I going? I need to get something to help me make it up to him, right? Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

"See you later then." I leave the dorm and start walking. So what do I do to make it up to him? What does he like? He doesn't like me, that's for sure, so offering to take him somewhere is off the table, even if I paid for everything. Didn't he used to be really into dinosaurs back when we were in high school? Yeah Shoyo, in high school. He's probably grown out of them by now. I know he used to like disney movies back then and, from what I heard, he likes musical theatre songs as well but that doesn't help me because no ideas spring to mind involving either of those things. Oh, I know! He used to really like strawberry shortcake! I can get him some of that, right? I'm pretty sure there's a bakery around here. I think I passed it when I first got here, it's near the train station. So I'm going to get him shortcake as an apology gift? Sounds like a plan! It's a long walk but it'll be worth it, I'm sure of it!


	8. Chapter 8

**~Hinata~**

So, unfortunately for me, I couldn't find that bakery that I passed. At least, I think I passed it. It's not exactly been very long but I do have a _terrible_ memory and I have a tendency to make things up in my head. You know, like that one time when I made up that Tsukishima would totally love me without even questioning why I'm not dead and definitely wouldn't break up with me. I don't trust my brain. Like, at all. Anyway, I couldn't buy any strawberry shortcake like I planned to which is really unfortunate but I still have to apologise for acting like the damn victim the other day. I've said it once and I'll say it again; I'm not the victim so why am I acting like it? God I hate myself sometimes. No, wait, _most_ of the time.

Maybe I could apologise by finally giving him his hoodie back? Mind you, I only own this one hoodie. Yes I only own one hoodie. Is that a problem? I'm a broke university student, what do you want me to do? Besides, I don't see the point in owning more than one hoodie. I have one hoodie, one leather jacket and one normal jacket. That's it. I wish people would stop coming at me for it. It's my fashion choices and I probably dress better than half of those people anyway. Oh my god, just let me live my life.

Damn, that was one long tangent. It was almost long enough to distract me from the fact that I am literally stood outside his door right now and I have no idea what I'm supposed to say to him to apologise. I can't just stand out here and think about it for ages though because the chance of someone seeing me and making me explain what I'm doing is very high. Wait no, I'll be ok. Let's face it, no one here actually cares enough about anything other than school and their own social circles, which I am definitely outside of, to care. But what if Tsukki comes out and sees me standing here and gets annoyed at me again? Ugh this is so complicated! When did apologies become so difficult?

You know what, screw it. I'm just going to go in there and say whatever the hell comes out. If it's embarrassing and makes the situation ten times worse, so be it. I can't just stand out here forever. Taking a deep breath, I knock on the door.

Tsukki comes to the door a couple of minutes later. "Hinata?" He looks down at me, clearly not impressed by my presence. "What are you doing here? It's too early to be dealing with your shit right now." Well that's kind of him to say, not. To be honest though, I still don't blame him for it even though we're slowly getting to be more civil with each other.

I chew on my bottom lip as I think of what to say, jamming my hands into the pockets of the hoodie again. Remember about a minute ago when I said it would be pretty cool if I gave this back as an apology? Yeah, not happening. "W-well... I came to apologise for the other day..." Good start, good start. "It was wrong of me to act the way I did. I acted like the victim when I really shouldn't have." I start tugging at my fingers inside the hoodie pocket. "I'm really sorry Tsukishima, hopefully you don't hate me forever... well, more than you already do..."

**~Tsukishima~**

Man, I already knew the kid was an idiot from the time we spent together in high school but seriously? He's actually apologising to me for being honest, of all things? Wow, that's really strange of him considering that all I ever wanted him to be was honest with me. You know, instead of lying to me and making me think he was going to die and getting our whole team in on it. I sigh. "Are you fucking kidding me? All you did was tell the truth about how you're doing; why would I be mad?"

He flinches a little, probably from the swearing. He never minded me swearing but it's probably something to do with the tone I used. Oops, that's my bad. "S-so you're really not mad?" It took him a while to even say that. Did I really scare him that bad? Wow, so he really hasn't changed after all. He laughs sheepishly. "Well I guess I misjudged the situation... sorry about that."

A small smile creeps onto my face. Even though I still strongly dislike him, his dedication to trying to make me not hate him is kind of endearing. "Stop apologising shrimp, you're going to make people think you're a pushover."

"Well I am a pushover-"

"No. No you're not." I fold my arms. "You're not a pushover and acting like one isn't a good look. Let's face it Hinata, would a real pushover fake his death to get a guy to love him? Because that sounds like some pretty headstrong behaviour to me."

"I'm sorry-" He begins but I cut him off.

"Shut up idiot, it was a joke." I roll my eyes. "Jeez, do you seriously not even know what humour is? Pathetic..."

**~Hinata~**

Well that was a bit mean but I don't really care. You know why? He made a joke! He's actually joking with me again! Progress! Progress as hell! I'm probably standing here with this huge, goofy grin right now and he probably thinks I'm super weird but who cares? Not me! "Hinata?" I supress the urge to giggle happily to myself. "Oi! Earth to Hinata!" Oh, I didn't even notice he was talking to me again. How embarrasing!

"Hm? W-what's up?" No, stop stuttering! Ah! I hate myself sometimes.

The smile on his face gets a little wider and he chuckles, shaking his head. "Don't worry about it shrimpy. I'll see you in class." And with that, he goes back into the dorm, leaving me out in the hall. I start walking back to my own dorm. That went better then I expected.


	9. Chapter 9

**~Tsukishima~**

I'm still in shock that Hinata actually apologised to me yesterday. Why would he apologise for it? I already told him this but I'm glad he's telling the truth. Nothing more, nothing less. That's all I ever wanted from him. It would've been nice if he'd always been truthful with me. Maybe things would've turned out different if... _the incident_ didn't happen. I'll never understand why he did that, you know. Like, why bother getting every friend you have to help you fake your death just to get someone to date you when you could just, I don't know, ask them out. I mean, I wouldn't have said yes but if he'd had made time to get to know me and we got closer as friends, I totally would've done. Plus, it's a lot better to be with someone you learned to love on your own without being guilt tripped into it.

Anyway, that's not what I'm thinking about right now. I'm too busy reminiscing on the good times yet again. I don't know why it happens but every time I see him I get thrown straight back into our first year of high school. Every time I see him in class, laughing with Kindaichi, I remember when that was us. God, it feels so long ago when, in reality, it's only been like three years. It might sound like a long time but, bearing in mind that we're 19 now, it's really not that long.

I've been hanging around with Lev a lot, under protest mind you, because I don't really have much else to do. He and Shibayama are pretty close because they're from the same high school so he usually tags along with us and with him comes his damn boyfriend. Kuguri Naoyasu. I'd never met him before college but he seems ok. I don't dislike him I just find him annoying when he and Shibayama join us. Again, they're both lovely people and they're genuinely quite fun to be around, and I don't think that way about many people, but the problem is that they're all over each other all the damn time. It's never very in your face. Like, they don't start full on making out or anything but it is still annoying. They're always cuddling or giving each other little kisses on the cheek or forehead or Shibayama's on Naoyasu's lap and-... Jesus Christ it's irritating.

Every time I look at them, so happy together, I can't help but think of me and Hinata. It's almost like I miss him but not entirely because I don't miss him... right? No, of course I don't miss him. He broke my damn heart and gave me even worse trust issues than I did before. But still, whenever I see them happy together I feel sort of empty inside. It's weird. I don't like it.

Still, I feel like I'm becoming attached to him all over again. Even though he's three years older now, he's still as adorable as ever and, even though we're not on good terms, I can't deny that. He still wears that hoodie I lent him. Before, I said that I wasn't going to ask for it back because it has liar germs on it... or something childish like that. I don't regret that decision. It suits him better than it ever suited me. But, again, it reminds me of that night at the park when I lent him that hoodie. Could it be that I do actually still like him?

I think over it for a couple of minutes and then realise. "Kei you idiot!" I bury my face in my pillow and sigh. Lev isn't here right now so it's ok, no one's here to hear me. "You caught feelings again you fucking dumbass!" This is bad, this is really bad! I only have two options now. Option one is to ignore my feelings and hope to god they go away, which is a long, complicated and emotionally draining process. Option two is to ask him out but that's not much better either because if he says no that'll absolutely kill me but if he says yes I'm risking him hurting me again. Fuck, what am I supposed to do?

I can't ask him again. I can't risk getting my heart broken like that all over again. It might hurt but it's for the best...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this chapter is shorter than the others. Sorry about that. I've had less time to write than usual recently because I've been studying because I have exams in two weeks.


	10. Chapter 10

**~Hinata~**

It's been a couple of days since I apologised to Tsukishima and I haven't heard from him since. It really shouldn't be bothering me as much as it is, considering he rarely ever talks to me anymore (which I totally deserve, in case you needed reminding) and it's only been two days but still, it's worrying me. When I apologised, he asked me why I was bothering and told me that it's ok, that all he ever wanted was me to be honest with him, but what if that's not true? What if he's still mad at me? I mean duh, of course he's still mad at me. I emotionally manipulated him and he clearly still remembers that. That's not the point though. The point is that he could've lied to me, wouldn't that be ironic, to get me to go away. Maybe he doesn't actually forgive me for spilling everything out that one time; maybe he just wanted me to leave.

I'm never drinking alcohol again. You think I'm kidding? I've never been more serious in my damn life. It wasn't the first time I've drank, by a long shot. I'm not a high schooler anymore. Hell, even when I was in high school, I can't tell you the number of times Kageyama and I got absolutely hammered after practice. We used to invite Yachi and Yamaguchi but, with them being a couple, I think you can imagine how that panned out. Mind you, me and Kageyama weren't exactly the best drunk duo ever. He's a very angry drunk and, as you already know, I'm a very sad drunk so it was just a lot of me crying about random things that had hapened and him screaming at me for being sad and then I'd cry even harder because drunk me can't handle someone doing as much as raising their voice and, to be honest, it was all just one big mess. It passed the time though and, honestly, without alcohol I never would've got through my final year.

But all of that's gone now, I've decided. No drinking in college and potentially no drinking for the rest of my life. Alcohol does no good; it only makes pre-existing problems worse. It doesn't matter what Tsukishima said because I'm going to keep worrying that he lied and you can't stop me doing that. Sorry not sorry.

I'm lying on my bed and looking up at the ceiling right now, the same thing I've been doing all day. I can't stop thinking over this. I can't just let it rest in my mind and it's really starting to annoy me. I think it's starting to annoy Kindaichi to; he's been staring at me for at least twenty minutes. Does he not have anything better to do then judge me? I can see him out of the corner of my eye. Why isn't he looking away. "...why are you looking at me?"

His eyebrows raise and he rolls his eyes. "Why do you think? You've been in that same position all day; it's creepy." He sighs. Don't you sigh at me! It's not your life, it's mine and who are you to question how I'm choosing to live it? "I don't understand why you're so bothered about this. Even if he is lying about forgiving you, with what you did to him in high school you're lucky he's even talking to you."

Well, I can't say he's wrong but it's still none of his business and I'm hardly in the mood to be called out right now so I'm going to stay mad at him. "Oh shut up, you don't get to dictate my mood."

"Whatever, I'm going out." He rolls his eyes again, like he doesn't know any other reaction, and walks out of the dorm. Well to be honest I'm glad he's gone. I can be sad by myself now and I see that as a positive. I only get to enjoy the silence for a second before my phone starts buzzing. I recognise that tone, someone's trying to face time me. I answer without even really looking at who's calling me. "What do you want?"

"Ouch Sho, that's cold." Whoops, it's Yachi. I didn't mean to be rude to her! I'm just in a bad mood. "I was just calling to check on how you were but if it's a bad time-"

"No no it's ok!" I feel really bad now. Yachi's my best friend, I really don't want to make her upset! "I'm just... not in the greatest of moods right now." She tilts her head, asking me why, so I sigh and explain. "Basically, I apologised to Tsukishima the other day and he accepted it and at the time that was fine, I didn't really think about it, but now it's really stressing me out because he might've been lying about forgiving me to get me to go away and honestly I wouldn't blame him for that and it would be kind of ironic for him to lie right back to me after what I did but it's confusing and it's making me really stressed."

She laughs to herself, seeming to have cheered up again. "You really do love to overthink things, huh? It's probably not as deep as you're making it out to be. I doubt he'd lie about forgiving you if he actually didn't. If he was still annoyed at you, knowing Tsukishima he'd tell you exactly how he felt and then tell you to fuck off."

I smile a little, a small laugh escaping my lips. "I guess so... why do you always know what to say?"

"Because I'm both your best friend and your voluntary therapist." She giggles.  
  
I snort. "That's a good point... It's been a hot second since we last met up, you should come and visit soon. Break's in a week for us, you could come up for a day or two then if you want. Maybe invite Yamaguchi and Kageyama to?" I don't get to see my old high school friends face to face very often anymore, having moved four hours away from Miyagi for college. It sucks but we call each other to stay in touch.

She smiled. "Alright, I'm down. I'll ask the others right now, be right back." She hung up. Ooh fun, a day with Yachi and maybe the other two! This is going to be such fun!


	11. Chapter 11

**~Hinata~**

So I'm currently sat at a little table at the corner of Starbucks. Yachi and Yamaguchi agreed to come up and meet me in Tokyo, seeing as we're all on break, and we're going to get a coffee together, just like we used to do in high school. I've really missed these guys. I mean, I've facetimed Yachi but it's not really the same as hanging out in person and, while I've stayed in contact with him, I haven't spoke to Yamaguchi nearly as much. It'll be nice to see them both again.

I look like a bit of an idiot loner right now though. I'm just sat here in the corner of a coffee shop by myself having not even bought a drink or anything to eat, playing on my phone and waiting for my friends to turn up. No one's looking at me, thank god. Mind you, they're probably all too preoccupied in whatever they're doing. There are a few couples around, doing couple things and being cute. I'm trying not to stare too much. God, I wish me and Tsukki were still like that. It's bringing me back to that one time we studied together over coffee, when I confessed to him. They were easier, more fun times but who knows anymore, maybe we could be like that again one day. A year ago, I would've said that there's no hope for that but we're actually managing to talk again. We're not quite friendly and I'm still not sure if he was lying the other week, despite what Yachi told me, but at least it's a step in the right direction.

"Shoyo!" I hear Yachi's voice calling out to me and look up. There she is, latched onto Yamaguchi's arm, waving at me. I smile and wave back, beckoning them over. Damn, I completely forgot that they were together. This is about to be really fun for my pining ass. They sit themselves down opposite me, Yachi leaning against his side immediately. "Sorry we took so long, we got a bit lost trying to find this exact coffee shop." She laughs.

I smile. "Don't worry about it. Thanks for coming out to meet me." Wait, someone's missing. "Aye, where's Kageyama? He said on the group chat that he was coming." It's not like Kageyama to cancel plans last minute.

"Oh... yeah, about that." Yamaguchi says, resting his hands behind his head. "He texted me this morning. He can't make it, his shift got changed last night so he has to be in work today." Oh, well isn't that just nice and convenient? I roll my eyes. "Don't be like that Sho, it's not his fault he has to work. Not all of us live close to their partner. Some of us have to travel and travelling requires money."

"I still don't understand how Bakageyama got with someone..." Maybe because he's not an emotional manipulator? Psh, like I'd know anything about that.

Yachi giggles to herself. "Ok, in all honesty me neither. It's not like he was ever very good with emotions." She presses a kiss to Yamaguchi's cheek. Jesus, I forgot how annoying it was being a single person and watching these two interact. If they're going to be like this the whole time, I'm leaving. Am I being to harsh about this? Probably. "However, there's someone out there for everyone so, as his friends, we should be happy for him."

There's someone out there for everyone, huh? That struck deep within me. Maybe there actually is someone out there for me to, despite how horrible I am. Do I hyper fixate on being a bad human being? Absolutely. "Someone for everyone? Even me?" God I hope my person is Tsukishima...

She smiles at me. "Yes, someone for you to. Maybe you just haven't met them yet!" I hope I've met them though. "Now, let's actually get some coffee. Yamaguchi's going to pay."

Yamaguchi suddenly looks very confused. "...I am? When did I say this?" Yachi gives him a certain kind of look and he sighs. "Yeah, yeah I'm paying. Just don't get anything too expensive." Huh, maybe there are some parts about relationships that I don't miss. Oh well, their dynamic is not my problem and I have my own quote on quote romantic problems to sort out, although it's more of a friendship problem at the moment.


	12. Chapter 12

**~Tsukishima~**

My god I am really starting to fall behind on work. I've been sat at this damn desk for nearly four hours now and I've only got through half the work I need to get done. It's getting really old now, there are many thing's I'd rather be doing but I guess I brought this on myself by neglecting my work. Even so, I'm not happy about it. I tap my pen on the desk, humming the tune of the song playing through my headphones to myself. Fuck Brendon Urie but Panic! still slaps and no one can take that away from me, thank you very much. Thinking about it, I should probably turn the music off. It's not exactly helping me focus. However four more hours of studying in complete silence sounds like hell so I'm keeping it on.

In the brief second it takes for the song to switch, I swear I hear someone knocking on the door. I sigh and get up, pulling my headphones off and pausing the album. "Coming, give me a sec." My god, whoever this is I hope this interaction doesn't last long. I really can't be arsed with people today. Well, I can never be arsed with people but that's not the point. I get up and walk over to the door, unlocking it and opening it. I look down. It's Hinata - what a surprise. I sigh. "Fancy seeing you here." I swear he spends more time outside my door than he does in his own dorm at this point. What's he doing here anyway? It's quite late to be randomly paying _me_ , of all people, a visit.

He laughs nervously, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. The other hand is holding a small box. I wonder what's in there. "Yeah, not exactly a surprise at this point." A small, awkward smile creeps onto his face. "I won't bother you for long though, don't worry. I have volleyball practice soon so I can't stay for long." Well I never knew they had practice in the evenings. I thought it was a morning or afternoon thing. "I just thought I'd drop this off first though." Ah, am I going to find out what's in the box? Cool. Not that I assumed it would be for me, or anything. He hands me the box. "Here. It's not much but I was at Starbucks with Yachi and Yamaguchi this morning and I got you some shortcake. Yamaguchi says hi, by the way."

I forgot about Yamaguchi, to be honest. It's been so long since I last contacted him. See, when the incident happened he was still dating Yachi and I had a feeling he would choose her over me so I ended our friendship. I wonder if he and Yachi are still together. Eh, I'll check on his Instagram or something tonight. That is, if I still care enough by the time I get round to it. "Thanks." I smile at Hinata, focusing on the conversation again instead of wasting time thinking about Yamaguchi and Yachi. "I'll enjoy this. Now run along to practice. They might kick your ass if you're late and it's not like someone as shrimpy as you could protect himself."

His face flushes red and he starts stuttering. Man, I've missed this. I almost forgot how it feels to make fun of Hinata. He reacts...interestingly. "S-shut up! I can protect myself!" Want to bet on that? Because you probably can't, no offence. "Oh, hi Lev!" He shouts, waving and looking behind me.

Ah, so Lev finally decided to get out of the shower. I really fucking hope he's dressed. I look over my shoulder at him. He is, thank god. Don't judge me or being worried about this, my fear is based off of a past experience. I'm pretty sure poor Shibayama is scarred for life now. "Hinata! Hey!" He grins at him. Am I really going to have to watch these two have a bro session right now? Great, that's _exactly_ what I wanted to do with my day. "How are you doing?"

"I'm great actually." Hinata smiles back at him. "Are you coming to practice tonight?"

Lev nods. "Damn right I am, I'll walk you there." He turns, probably to get his bag, but then turns back on himself "Aye, Shibayama's boyfriend's sister is letting him throw a party at her place while she's away. It's just down the street actually. God knows why she didn't just let him stay with her instead of being at the dorms... but it's going to be great! You should come!"

I raise my eyebrows. "And why didn't I hear about this? I'm your roommate, why didn't you tell me?" Not that I like parties, I just have the biggest, most inconvenient fear of missing out known to man.

"Eh." He shrugs. "I had a feeling you wouldn't want to come so I didn't bother telling you."

I scoff. "Well, I don't _want_ to come but maybe I will, just to spite you." I look down at Hinata with a small smirk. "And to spite you to. Now run along to practice." I basically push Lev outside and close the door, locking it. Jesus, that was stressful. And now I've talked myself into going to this stupid party. Hopefully it won't be that bad...


	13. Chapter 13

**~Hinata~**

Believe it or not, I have been to a couple of house parties before now. Back in high school, me and my friends got invited to plenty of parties! Granted, it was mostly because we were friends with Kageyama who was kind of the local heart throb of our year who no one outside the group knew was completely 100% gay but you know what, I still had the experience of a house party and that's what matters! Still, that was in high school. What if there's a whole different, like, etiquette to college house parties? Oh god, this isn't good at all! What if I mess something up?

Deep breaths Shoyo... Come on, breathe in and out... You need to calm down. It's just a party. There's no need to stress or panic or anything, you're just here to have some fun. It'll be fine. Besides, you know the boyfriend of the guy who's throwing the party, at least you briefly knew him in high school. Plus, Lev invited me so I have an excuse to be here.

I wonder if Tsukishima was being serious when he said he was coming 'just to spite Lev'. Part of me really hopes he does because, as you already know because it's just common knowledge at this point, I still have the biggest gay crush on him. I know that the chances of him taking me back are pretty damn slim but still, it's nice spending time with him. However, the other part of me doesn't want him to come because the chances of me getting drunk and doing something stupid are high. Like, really high. Hopefully I'll be ok, whatever outcome happens.

"Hinata!" That sounds like Lev. I look around the area. The street that Shibayama's boyfriend's sister's house, god I need to learn his name, is on is actually pretty nice. The house is fairly big to. Is his sister, like, rich or something? Eh, it's not really my business.

I finally spot Lev among the crowd of people standing outside and wave to him. "Lev, hey!" I smile and walk over to him. We high five, something that I haven't done in a while actually. "Surprise, I actually showed up!"

He laughs. "Yeah, glad you did. Mind you, I'm more bothered about Tsukki not showing up, you know?" I nod in agreement. I'm also slightly bothered about him not showing up but not too bothered to the point that I'd be upset if he didn't come. "Oh, you remember Shibayama right?" I nod again. Of course I remember Shibayama! Granted we didn't talk much but we still shared each other's company during training camps. "Oh good, because we're staying with him tonight. Well, I am anyway. And I was kind of assuming you'd be sticking with me." He laughs nervously. "You're ok with that, right?"

I shrug. "That's fine. I was planning on sticking with you anyway. Plus, it'll be nice to see Shibayama again." Maybe I can meet his boyfriend as well so I can actually learn his damn name. I wonder what he's like. I bet he's really handsome, you'd have to be to end up with Shibayama. He doesn't exactly have the highest self-esteem but that doesn't mean he's not extremely good looking (in the most platonic way possible my heart belongs to Tsukki and Tsukki only for the record).

"Great!" He grins at me. "Let's go find him them." He walks into the house. I follow behind him, taking in my surroundings. There are people _everywhere_. The familiar smell of alcohol fills the room. Yeah, we're going to be doing a whole lot of drinking tonight I can already tell. There's nothing wrong with that though! What's a party without the alcohol? I keep following Lev through the house until he stops and waves to someone. "Shibayama! Over here!"

The guy, who I'm assuming is Shibayama, starts walking over to us. As he gets closer, I study his face. Yeah, it's basically the same face I remember him having. This is definitely Shibayama. Lev didn't wave to the wrong guy. All is well in the world. "Lev, hi." He smiles at Lev and then turns to me. "And Hinata, right? We met in high school."

I nod. "Yeah, it's Hinata." Shibayama definitely looks different to how he looked in high school. His hair is pretty much the same but he's got blue and green streaks in it now. It suits him. He's also got a couple of piercings; two in his lobe on both ears, his helix and an industrial on his right ear. His left nostril is pierced to. I never took Shibayama as the kind who wanted to get piercings but what do I know? People change. For all I know, he might've wanted to do this since high school but Nekoma's dress code stopped him from getting it done. "How've you been? I haven't seen you for a hot second."

He shrugs. "Eh, I've been ok. I'm kind of far behind on art coursework but I can't just _not_ show up to my boyfriend's party." I mean, technically you could not show up and actually do you work but where's the fun in that? I'm holding onto keeping up with my work by a single straw but, with volleyball taking up most of my time which is honestly nothing new, it's getting harder to keep up with it all. "Oh, I don't think you've met Kuguri, have you?" Kuguri? Is that his boyfriend? I shake my head. "Wait here, I'll go find him." He disappears off somewhere. I lean against the kitchen counter and pour myself a drink, taking a sip. God I've missed parties...

**~Tsukishima~**

I can't believe I actually bothered coming here when I only said I would as a fuck you to Lev but hey, here I am. I'm just stood in a corner by myself, drinking some punch. I really should've arranged to meet up with Lev, or someone I know, while I'm here but I didn't; the chance of Hinata being with him is too high. It's not like being around Hinata is painful or anything, it's getting easier to hang out with him every time I do it, it's just that I'm trying my damn best _not_ to catch feelings again and, thinking about it, spending a night out with probably drunk Hinata and our shared friends who suck at reading social cues would not be the best way to avoid that outcome.

People keep staring at me, specifically groups of girls. That's either a really good thing or a really bad thing. A guy like me standing alone at a party must look pretty suspicious. Fuck, am I coming off as wanting to do something bad? I'm not a drug dealer, I swear. Maybe I should go looking for someone I know. Even if it's annoying having them around sometimes, it's better than what I've been doing for the past two hours which is standing alone in a corner. Lev and Hinata must've got here hours ago. Forget what I said before, I'm going to stay with them for a bit. If things get out of hand with him, I can just leave.

I finally leave my corner and start weaving my way through the crowds of people and into the other room, keeping my eyes peeled for Hinata, Lev, Shibayama, Kindaichi or just anyone I know. When I get into the kitchen, I see a familiar head of fluffy ginger hair. "Hinata!" I call out to him but he doesn't turn. Maybe he couldn't hear me over the music. It is pretty fucking loud in here. Why is he alone anyway? Why isn't he with someone right now? He's swaying slightly... oh my god he's drunk! Why the fuck would (probably) Lev leave him alone when he's drunk? That's so dangerous! What the fuck!

**~Hinata~**

Shibayama and Naoyasu disappeared pretty much right after Lev and I met up with them. Naoyasu took him off for a 'private talk' and that was like an hour ago. I know what they're doing and I'm pretty damn sure they're not coming back any time soon. It hasn't been very long since Lev left. He told me to wait here while he got more alcohol, we used up the bottle on the kitchen counter. I don't know where he's going to get the alcohol from but it's not my problem. I probably shouldn't drink anymore anyway, I'm pretty much wasted right now.

That's when I feel someone tap me on the arm. "Lev?.." I turn around and come face to face with this guy. He's definitely not Lev. He's a little shorter than him but chunkier, not quite built like a twig like Lev is. "...hello?" Who the hell is this guy?

He's smirking, it's not a good look for his face. "Hey pretty boy, I haven't seen you around here before." Did he actually just call me pretty boy? Ew, gross. Work on your greetings or nicknames, whichever that was supposed to be, good sir. "You're new, right? First year?" I nod slowly. God damn, moving my head was a mistake. It's absolutely throbbing. I drank way too much, the hangover tomorrow is going to be awful. "Well first year, I'm actually in my _last_ year. I'm captain of the football team."

He puts his hand on my cheek. Why is he touching my face? Sir, I may be barely conscious but that does not give you an excuse to touch me. Get your sweaty hand off my face right now before I implode. I just push his hand away again. "Would you mind not doing that maybe?.."

"Why not? You're just so good looking, especially with that little drunk face you're making~" That's creepy. That's rapey. Leave me alone. I do not feel safe. "Why not come upstairs with me? They'll be an empty room somewhere around here." I'd rather not, to be honest. I'm just gonna walk away now... As I turn to go, he grabs hold of me and suddenly I'm pinned against the counter. Ok, not the ideal situation. I'm just gonna squirm around and scream until he gets bored and lets go. So now I'm screaming, drawing the attention of various people but no one actually comes over to help. What the hell guys? Someone help me! I'm going to get absolutely slaughtered in a second, please help me out. "Will you shut the fuck up?!" He slaps me hard across the face.

"Ow!" I flinch a little, turning my head away from him. "That hurt!" If anything could make the headache get worse, it would've been that. Suddenly everything seems so much brighter and louder than it was before. The noise from the music is pounding around my brain. Is this the alcohol or is this the beta version of a panic attack? He's shouting something at me but I can't hear him over the music. Is this just in my head or did someone turn it up? Everything's spinning. It's all spinning. Oh my god I'm going to die!

And then he's pulled away from me. Everything stops spinning, the music goes back to it's normal volume and the lights seem to dim again. I'm able to take a breath and look around again. Yeah, basically everyone ignored me when I was screaming, everyone except one person. "...Tsukki?" You know what, I wasn't expecting Tsukishima to be the one to pull him off me but, Jesus Christ, I am so glad he did.

Suddenly he punches the other guy in the face. I wince slightly, it looked like it hurt. Considering the other guy is taller and looks stronger than him, that was a brave move. "I recommend you stay away from my boyfriend, asshole." Wait what? Boyfriend? I feel my face heat up. I'm not about to correct him but I'm _not_ his boyfriend. I wish I was but I'm not. Why would he say that? Oh wait, it was probably just to get that guy to back off. It meant nothing.

In the short amount of time I was thinking, a full on fight has broken out. "Tsukki stop it!" I run over to them, stumbling a little because it's kind of hard to run while drunk, and try my best to pull him away. A little while later he steps back, visibly angry, and grabs my arm, dragging me off out of the house. "Hey! Where are we going?" I stumble along behind him.

"I'm taking you back to my dorm. You're clearly too drunk to be left alone right now." Eh? But it's fun at the party... Thinking about it though, I did almost get, like, murdered or something so this is probably a good idea. "I'll call Lev when we get back and tell him you're with me so he won't worry."

"Mkay..." I follow behind him, pouting slightly. Yeah, this is for my own good but I still don't want to leave.


	14. Chapter 14

~Tsukishima~

So I've successfully got Hinata back to my dorm. He can stay here for the night in Lev's bed. Chances are Lev's going to pass out at the party or just stay with Shibayama at the house like he apparently said he was going to (Hinata mumbled something about that on the way back here). If he actually comes back here tonight, I'll just tell him to fuck off and stay with Kindaichi for the night or something. Hinata's safety is more important than Lev getting a good nights sleep so he can sort it out himself. "Alright, we're here." I lay him down on Lev's bed, stepping away from him. "Just try your best to sleep."

"Mkay..." He rolls onto his side and curls up, facing away from me.

I sigh in relief, still glad he's safe with me and away from whoever the fuck that guy was, and lay on my own bad, looking up at the ceiling. God, I am so glad I decided to be petty and go to that party. If I wasn't there, god knows what would've happened to him. From the looks of it, no one else who saw what was happening was planning to help. What a bunch of assholes... I click my tongue and rest my hands behind my head, closing my eyes. I might as well get some sleep.

I didn't manage to attempt to sleep for long because a couple of minutes later, I heard sniffling coming from the other bed. "...Hinata are you crying?" He stammers out a quick denial through yet more sniffles and I sigh. I completely forgot that he was a sad drunk... This is going to be a long night if I can't get him to sleep. "No, you're crying dumbass." I roll off the bed and walk over to his, poking his side. "What's up?"

"It's nothing really..." He bats my hand away, understandable, and curls up more. "I just-...why did you help me back then?..."

Folding my arms, I raise my eyebrows. "Are you seriously asking me that?"

"Y-yeah I am..." He sniffled again. "It's just-...I mean, why would you help me?..." Uh, because you were clearly in trouble? Maybe? "I didn't deserve your help Tsukishima...I did something awful to you back then so why would you help me?..."

Oh my god, I can't tell if I'm really angry or if I just feel sorry for him right now. "Are you fucking kidding me Hinata?" He looks up at me over his shoulder, almost in shock. His eyes are still teary. He needs to calm the fuck down. "I get it, you feel bad for what happened in high school but you really need to stop making it your entire fucking personality. I'm trying to move on from it so we can properly start over and be friends again but that's really fucking difficult when every time we spend time together you're all 'oh boo hoo woe is me I emotionally manipulated someone oh no might as well kill myself'. It's getting old Hinata."

He gulps a little and looks away again. Ok, maybe I was a little bit harsh with that but nothing I said was wrong. It is getting really fucking annoying. "...I'm sorry..."

"Stop being sorry!" I shouldn't shout, he's hungover and I'm probably going to make him cry again. Fuck. Calm down Kei, calm down... "Hey, I get that you're upset about what you did but do you seriously think I even considered not helping you because of it?" I cautiously sit down on the bed next to him, worried about him pushing me off because hitting the floor will hurt. He doesn't push me off and I, very quietly, sigh in relief. "Yeah I still hate you quite a lot and I'm still far from wanting to be even friends with you but I wasn't about to leave you with him. If something really bad had happened to you and I hadn't done anything, I don't think I would've been able to live with it..."

And suddenly he's latched onto me. I wasn't expecting a hug but whatever, if it helps him calm down I can deal with it. "It was scary Tsukki..." He starts sobbing again. Jesus, damn right it was scary. I've never been in a situation like that but being there with no one bothering to help you must suck.

I run my fingers through his hair. "Yeah, I bet..." He's still crying. How the fuck do you stop someone from crying? I'm no good at this! "And those guys are assholes for not helping you..."

About an hour later he ends up crying himself to sleep. He's still latched onto me so I guess I'm staying here for the night, or at least until he wakes up. I do feel bad for him because of what happened tonight but at the same time I don't feel bad enough to properly forgive him which I am trying to do but, as I said before, he's making it really damn difficult. I look down at him. His face is stained with tears but, at the same time, he looks so damn peaceful. I hope he's alright by tomorrow...


	15. Chapter 15

**~Hinata~**

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was the sun already peeking through the curtains. Damn, how long did I sleep in for? It's getting close to winter now so I usually wake up before the sun comes up. What's the time? 10am maybe? Shit... I don't have practice today, right? No, if I had practice Kindaichi would've woken me up. He's not a complete asshole like that. At least, I hope he's not. If I skipped practice because I overslept, coach would kick the crap out of me.

God, what day even is it? My head's killing me... Oh, the party was last night, right? Am I hung over? Jesus, how much did I drink?... I feel awful. Maybe I should go back to sleep; the sun is hurting my head. I look away from the window and realise that I'm holding onto someone... Oh my god, did I force Kindaichi to stay with me while I slept? That's so embarrassing! I let go and shuffle away from him, rolling onto my other side so I don't have to look at him. He's never going to let me live that down.

"So you're finally awake, huh?" I freeze. That's definitely not Kindaichi's voice. Is that-... it sounds like Tsukishima but it's not him, right? It can't be him! There's no god damn way! Did I even see him last night? He said he was going to the party but I don't actually remember seeing him.

That's when it all comes flooding back to me - what happened with that guy and... wow, Tsukki really saved my ass back there, huh. And that means I'm in his room right now, right? Oh Jesus, this isn't good. This really isn't good. "...yeah, I'm awake." Just make conversation and pray. That's the plan.

"And you're not crying anymore? Thank god." He chuckles slightly, almost as if he feels really awkward right now and, to be honest, I do not blame him one bit. This is not a good situation to be in man. I hate it here.

"Yeah, sorry about that." I shrug, trying my best to act natural. Just make conversation and pray, remember? "It's really not my fault that I'm a sad drunk." Technically that statement isn't incorrect. It's not my fault that I'm a sad drunk, that's just bad luck on the end of whatever god had the misfortune of creating me. Not that I believe in god. It just seemed like a good phrase to use, don't judge me too hard.

"Eh, somewhere along the line it probably is your fault." He shrugs. Well that's rude. I don't think it's my fault. It's better than being an angry drunk like stupid Kageyama who likes to scream his head off at me when he's drunk. God, it's so annoying! "But hey, what can you do..." He sighs. "You didn't have practice today, right?"

You know what Tsukishima, that's a really good question. "I'm not sure man, I don't even know what day it is..." I really should stop drinking so much, huh. "But hey, I'll have missed it by now anyway so, if it was on today, I'll be taking the beating from coach either way. I'd rather postpone it for a few days." I laugh nervously. He looks at me like I'm being serious. Jeez, he's dense. Can't even take a joke apparently. "I was kidding, nimrod. He doesn't actually beat us."

"Pfft, yeah I knew that." He scoffs a little and looks away from me. Yeah, he totally didn't know that. "Well, seeing as you're awake and not feeling too bad, I think it's time for you to leave." Aww already? I just woke up though.

"Eh, fair enough." I basically roll off the bed and stand up. "I'll see you around, yeah? Next time we're in class?"

He nods. "Yeah, sounds cool. I'll see you then."

As I'm turning to go, I think of something else. "Unless..." I turn to face him again. "Unless you're down to go and grab a coffee sometime? I'd pay, you know, as a thanks for helping me out last night." He thinks about it for a second and nods, shrugs and mumbles a quick why not. I smile. "Great! It's a date."

He fake gags. "No, no it's not. It's a friendly hangout."

"Haha...yeah." I laugh nervously. "My bad." And with that I left, before I could let anything else like that slip and make this all even more awkward than it already is. But hey, we're going on a _cough_ friendly hangout at some point. Not sure when but we can text each other and figure out the details or discuss it after class. I don't know, the point is that it's happening. Does that mean that we're on good terms again? Huh, ok. I mean, it's a step in the right direction. Maybe I can finally fix things.


	16. Chapter 16

**~Hinata~**

Maybe it has been a hot minute since that morning with Tsukishima, which honestly was really embarrassing and I would pay good money for it to be scrubbed from the memory of everyone involved, but that doesn't mean I'm over the fact that he said yes to getting coffee with me, like old times before I went and fucked things up. I'm still in shock that this is actually happening, to be honest. I was convinced he would say no but hey, I'm not complaining. I'm just repeating myself and sounding like a stuck record. That's ok. It's not like I have anything to say and not thinking of anything is really weird so I'm just going to keep dwelling on this for the time being. I can think of other things once he gets here.

I'm currently sitting at a two person table, drinking my coffee. I just got a plain latte because it's cheap and I _did_ offer to buy Tsukishima a drink even though I'm basically broke which was a bad idea on my part but oh well, too late for take backs now. Besides, it's like the least I can do considering what I did... Wait no, he told me to stop, and I quote, 'making it my entire personality'. Does that mean I'm not allowed to think about it anymore? Don't phrase it like that Sho, you're _allowed_ to do whatever the hell you want. What you're trying to say, I think, is would he get mad at you for thinking about it? The answer to that is yes. I don't know that for sure, but the answer is still yes and you can't change my mind.

"Hinata?"

I look up and there he is, sat opposite me with a cup of coffee on the table in front of him. Wait, he's here already? Oh my god, I wasn't expecting him to turn up this early! A part of me wasn't expecting him to show up at all! "Shit-" I dig my wallet out of my pocket. "How much was that?" He tells me the price and I hand him the money. "Here. Sorry, I said I'd pay didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did." He takes the money and pockets it. "You're lucky I picked something cheap."

A small smile creeps onto my face and I take another sip of my drink. "Yeah, I am. Thanks for that." He mumbles a quick you're welcome. I bite my lip. "So... How are you?" That's a good conversation starter, right? I get that we're _technically_ on slightly better terms than we were before but there's nothing we can really talk about. I mean, there is one thing I want to talk about that I might have forgot to address on the morning that I'd rather not think about. He called himself my boyfriend at the party and, even though it probably doesn't mean anything at all, I want to know why he said that, just in case it actually means something.

He shrugs and starts drinking. "Eh, I'm ok. A bit tired but what can you do? Lev decided to go for a run at five in the morning, the fucking psychopath, and he's so god damn loud when he's getting ready to leave that it's impossible to sleep through it."

I laugh a little. "Yeah, that must be annoying... not that I can talk." I'm not exactly the best at being quiet in literally any situation and I'm pretty sure that's common knowledge at this point. He laughs back, just a little and it's very quit but it still made me smile more than I was before. I wasn't expecting to actually be able to make him laugh today. I raise my eyebrows. "Not you agreeing with me."

He shrugs again, smiling now. "Well, I was raised on not being a liar... unlike a certain someone I know."

I gasp, resting a hand over my heart. "Well, I am hurt. There was no need for you to personally attack me like that."

"I'm going to assume, for your benefit, that your reaction was satire."

"Yeah, it was." Of course it was satire. Like I'd be hurt by a completely true statement. I'm not that childish anymore. At least, I like to think I'm not. The question started to eat away at me again. It won't do any harm to simply ask, right? "Listen, about what you said at the party..."

He audibly sighs. "If this is about the whole boyfriend thing, it didn't mean shit. That was just the first way I thought off to get that asshole to piss off."

I laugh a little. "Yeah, I thought so... I just wanted to check, you know?"

He scoffs. "Full offence but I would never like you like that again. I do have a little bit of self worth." That's pretty understandable, all things considered. But is it just me? Or did he hesitate when he said that? No, I'm reading too far into things again. He literally _just said_ that he'd never like me in that way again and here I am, getting my damn hopes up. Honestly, why am I like this. I finish my drink and he finishes his to. "Well... Other than the slightly sour ending, that was alright. Want to do this again sometime?"

My eyes light up. He just offered to meet up with me again! Ah! That's amazing! "Yeah, sure thing. But you're paying for your own damn drink next time."

"That's fair." He shrugs. "I'll see you next time then, whenever that is." Before I even get to respond, he's gone. Damn, with the way that ended I really thought I'd messed everything up. But hey, positives! I get up and leave as well. I can't wait to tell Yachi about this! She's going to be so excited!


	17. Chapter 17

**~Hinata~**

Ok, I'll admit that I've been neglecting my college work since I started hanging out with Tsukki more which is a bit strange considering how back when I was only hanging out with Shibayama, Lev and Kindaichi, I could balance my work and social life just fine. I know that isn't Tsukki's fault but, Christ, why does he have to distract me from everything? It's been about a week or two since we went for coffee and, while it's slowly been getting better, I'm still struggling to balance things. Anyway, I'm super behind on my work now so Shibayama, Naoyasu and I are studying at their dorm. Imagine being lucky enough to share a dorm with your boyfriend by pure chance. Could never be me. Actually, imagine being lucky enough to have a boyfriend. Could also never be me. I messed it up. I'm not supposed to think about that anymore though, am I. Whoops.

It was Shibayama that invited me over to study after I ranted to him about how hard it's getting to keep up. He said that Naoyasu was going to be in the dorm all day because he didn't have plans with his friends so it wouldn't be awkward. In my opinion, it's even more awkward. He basically invited me to third wheel him and his boyfriend but whatever, it's difficult to say no if all you're going to be doing on that specific day is be lonely. So here I am. Shibayama's sat on his bed, sort of curled up with his art tablet. Apparently he has course work to catch up on. I didn't ask about it; all his art stuff just goes over my head. Naoyasu's sat at his desk doing... clever people stuff. I don't know much about what he's doing. Naoyasu's a physics major and, while I'm doing sports science, I'm not very good at physics.

I'm sat at Shibayama's desk with my textbook and notepad. He said that I could use his desk since he works better on his bed which I appreciate. It's not exactly making it any easier for me to study though, mind you. I think it's because I don't understand a single word of what's going on on the page. It's not like Shibayama or Naoyasu can help me either, seeing as they're not on my course and will probably have less of a clue what's going on then I do. Ideally, I'd be doing this with Kindaichi, seeing as we're on the same course, but he's out doing... something today, he didn't tell me what he was doing and I didn't bother to ask. It's not really my business. My only other option is... Tsukishima. He'll help me out, right? I open my phone and go on Instagram, opening a dm with him. Yeah, we ended up unblocking each other the other day, after we went for coffee, for the first time in literal years. It turned out to be quite useful, actually.

**littlered10:** Hey Tsukki :))

**saltyshima:** Hi shrimp

**littlered10:** Don’t call me shrimp, beanpole!

**saltyshima:** Christ on a bike-  
 **saltyshima:** Why are you so easily insulted?

**littlered10:** Why are you so mean right off the bat?

**saltyshima:** Trauma, why?

**littlered10:** I can’t tell if that’s a joke or not .-.

**saltyshima:** Good that’s the point  
 **saltyshima:** What do you want?

**littlered10:** Are you free tomorrow

**saltyshima:** Why?

**littlered10:** Just answer the question

**saltyshima:** Fine yes I am

**littlered10:** Great!!  
 **littlered10:** I’m coming over to study with you

**saltyshima:** You can’t just invite yourself over

**littlered10:** Too bad I just did :))

**saltyshima:** What if I don’t want you to come over?

**littlered10:** I mean I don’t have to  
 **littlered10:** Sorry that was pushy  
 **littlered10:** I’ll just ask Kindaichi when he’s free  
 **littlered10:** Sorry lol

**saltyshima:** It’s fine  
 **saltyshima:** How badly do you need help?

**littlered10:** I think I might fail the course :p

**saltyshima:** I’ll see you tomorrow then

**littlered10:** Huh? Are you sure?

**saltyshima:** Yeah it’s whatever

**littlered10:** You don’t have to do that

**saltyshima:** I don’t have any plans anyway

**littlered10:** You sure about this?

**saltyshima:** Yes  
 **saltyshima:** You were the one who asked in the first place

**littlered10:** I guess…

**saltyshima:** Be here tomorrow at 4pm

**littlered10:** I have practice tomorrow

**saltyshima:** What time does it finish?

**littlered10:** Idk late

**saltyshima:** Come over at 12 then

**littlered10:** Am or pm?

**saltyshima:** Pm dipshit

**littlered10:** I’ll be there

Did I get left on read? Absolutely. It's basically tradition for us at this point. I'm not too bothered about that though because Jesus Christ he actually said yes! I was, like, full prepared to have to ask Kindaichi whenever he's free next but hey, what an absolute win!

"You know, staring at your phone isn't going to help you study."

It's Kuguri who said that. I turn to look at him and smile. "Yeah, but I'm talking about studying with a friend so you can let it slide, right?"

"Ooh, a 'friend'?" Shibayama air quotes the word friend and giggles. "Is it Tsukishima?"

"Maybe?"

"Is it a date?~"

I almost choke on my breath. "What no! We're just studying together because he can actually help me with my course." Shibayama seems to underestimate our situation. "Besides, even if I still like him-" which I do "-he straight up said he'd never like me like that again, so it doesn't matter. Just friends! Strictly platonic!"

"Yeah right-"

"Yuuki leave it." Naoyasu stares at his boyfriend and sighs. "I'm trying to focus and I can't do that when that one's getting all flustered." Oh look, now he's staring at me. "And you, stop shouting. Some of us are actually trying to get shit done."

"Kuguri don't be mean..." Shibayama put down his tablet, for the first time since I got here literally two hours ago, and walks over, hugging him from behind. "Hinata's just a bit on the loud side. If it's annoying you, put your headphones on."

"Huh?" I stand up and start gathering my things. "No, it's fine. I'll just go."

"Hinata you don't have to leave..." Shibayama sighs.

"Nah it's fine, I'm studying with Tsukishima tomorrow anyway." Genuinely, I'm not that bothered about leaving. It gives them a bit of space to be lovey dovey anyway; my single-and-pining heart does not want to see that. "I'll catch you two round, yeah?"

"Yeah, you will."

I smile. "Ok, cool. See you then." And I leave. Well that was a... relatively ok two hours. I got a bit of conversation in with Shibayama and I've properly met Naoyasu now, unlike that half-assed introduction I got back at the party. The best part though? I have an opportunity to hang out with Tsukki again! That's going to be so fun! Well, probably not because we're studying but still exciting!


	18. Chapter 18

**~Tsukishima~**

Today's the day that I agreed to help Hinata study. Why he can't just do it himself, I will never know but hey, he was always known for being a dumbass so it's basically to be expected that he can't handle it by himself. It doesn't matter anyway - it's not like he's interrupting anything important. Plus, I'm the one who _agreed_ to this so I have only myself to blame. I probably sound like I'm contradicting myself a lot. That's fine. Thoughts are complicated things. I argue with myself all the time, this is no exception. It's fine. This is fine.

He didn't exactly give me any ideas about what he's struggling with. He didn't say anything specific, just that he's struggling with the course, and I forgot to prompt him about it so I guess we'll have to figure that out once he gets here. That's ok. It doesn't exactly waste any time. Speaking of, when the hell is he going to get here? I check the time on my phone - the bitch was supposed to be here twenty minutes ago! Christ on a bike, he's the one who asked me to help him and he fucking failed to be here on time! Here I was being nice and agreeing to help him and he's here-... wait no, he's not even here. For fuck's sake Hinata, step your game up!

Just as I'm reaching the peak of annoyance, there's a knock at the door. That's either Hinata _finally_ making an appearance or it's Lev who lost his key again. I don't understand why he doesn't just get a keyring or something. Deadass, he doesn't even have his key attached to anything. He just leaves it lying around on any old surface or in any old pocket or bag. It's strange. No wonder he loses it all the time. There's another knock and I sigh, getting up. "I'm coming I'm coming."

I open the door and there he is - the man of the hour, Hinata fucking Shoyo. "Tsukki! Hi!" He's smiling at me. He does have a good smile, it's really bright, but within the context of the situation it is so annoying.

"Don't smile at me like nothing's wrong." I didn't _mean_ to snarl at him, it just came out that way. Whoops I guess. "You're twenty minutes late, dumbass, after you basically begged me to help you."

"I didn't beg!"

"You so did, don't bother lying." He didn't, it's just fun to take the piss out of him. "Now come in, we're already behind schedule." He walks in and I close and lock the door behind him. That probably made me sound like a kidnapper. You know what, if it was anyone other than Hinata I'd consider it. For legal reasons, that's a joke. Besides, he smells fucking awful right now. I don't know how I didn't notice when I first opened the door but the man smells like he's never touched deodorant in his life. My nose wrinkles. "Christ you smell like shit."

"Oh, do I?" He laughs sheepishly. Yes Hinata, you fucking do. "Sorry about that, I went for a run before I came here." Ah, so that's why he was late. Also, who wakes up and goes 'well I'm supposed to be meeting with someone soon so might as well go for a run right before I go there and not bother making sure I smell alright after'? You're stinking up the room. Sort it out. I walk off into the bathroom and he calls after me. "Eh? Tsukki? Where are you going?"

"Where do you think I'm going?" I grab an aerosol can and walk back into the room, basically dousing Hinata in the stuff. "I'm _going_ to make you smell better so you don't completely stink up my dorm."

He actually whines at that, coughing a little. "Did you have to use that much spray?" Yes. Yes I did. You smell fucking awful and a guy's got to do what he's got to do. "Besides, now I smell worse because I smell like you."

"What the hell did you just say?"

"Nothing nothing!" He waves his arms around in front of him, laughing nervously.

I sigh and sit down on my bed, next to him but not too close that it's awkward. "Whatever... is there anything in particular that you need help with or?-"

"Nope!" He shakes his head grinning at me. "I'm just really confused about everything."

"That's really not something you should be smiling about..." Rolling my eyes, I grab one of my textbooks and flick to an appropriate page. "We'll start with the stuff we've been doing recently then, to see how much of that you remember." He nods in agreement and we start going through some stuff. Personally, I don't think I was ever that great at explaining things to others, and I'm still not now, but he seems to be understanding it just a little. Hopefully a little better than before. I stop explaining for a second and look down at him. "You are getting all this, right?"

"Mhm!" He looks back up at me, his eyes sparkling, and I swear my heart does a god damn backflip which is annoying, not going to lie, because _I don't still have feelings for Hinata_! I know that might seem hard to believe but I don't. There's no way I do. I've put a lot of thought into it and I have decided that I'm still mad at him (lies) and I'm not into him in any way shape or form (also a lie but we're not going to talk about it). "You're awesome Tsukki! You explain things so well!" He's still smiling. God I could look at that smile for hours...stop it! You're contradicting your own thoughts from less than a minute ago!

I look back down at the book. I'm pretty sure if I look at his smile for any longer, I'll go blind. "Thanks... I disagree but I'll accept the compliment..." I turn to the next page but, just as I'm about to start explaining something new, he speaks again.

"And that's one of the many reasons I still love you..." He mumbles it and I don't think I was supposed to hear it but I did. Oh, I did. My face starts to heat up. Christ, now isn't a good time to gay panic. I take back everything I said before. I absolutely still like him and I am a terrible god damn liar. "You heard that didn't you?..."

"Yeah..." My suspicions were right, I wasn't supposed to hear that.

"Right..." He shuffles around for a bit and then gets up. "I think now is a good time to leave..." I mean, he doesn't have to leave. There's still another, like, two hours before he has to leave for practice. Maybe it's just because he thinks he made it awkward, which he totally did. I can respect that. "Bye Tsukishima. I'll see you in class tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yeah..."


	19. Chapter 19

**~Tsukishima~**

It's been a couple of days since Hinata last came over to mine and Lev's dorm. I can't stop thinking about what he said to me, even if it was by accident and I wasn't supposed to hear it. So he really does still like me, huh? I had a strong feeling he did, he's not one for keeping things like that a secret, but hearing him actually say it is a whole other ball game. My heart hasn't stopped throbbing for the last two days and I have a funny feeling it's not going to stop so that's fun for me. I sigh, flopping onto my back and looking up at the ceiling. I've done nothing but lie on my bed today. I really can't be bothered getting up; I'm using up all my energy on doing some serious thinking about what to do now. He likes me and I like him. The logical thing to do would be to ask him on a date _however_ there is the issue of what he did in high school. As much as I've liked to pretend that it doesn't matter anymore, he still emotionally manipulated me. I'm not a masochist and I don't want to go through that pain again, thank you very much.

Still, it doesn't change the fact that it's so convenient that we both like each other still, after all this time. One date can't hurt, right? It's just one day in my life, there's a limit to what wrongdoings can happen in just one day. It should be fine to ask him on one date and we've kind of had romantic moments before now... well, my bar for 'romantic moments' is pretty low. I doubt he considered them that way. To be honest, I didn't consider them romantic moments until, like, right now either so I wouldn't blame him if he didn't.

Lev comes bursting into the room, completely de-railing my train of thought. "Tsukki! Did you miss me?"

Rolling my eyes, I sit up, leaning back against the headboard. "No, believe it or not, I didn't. You were gone for literally half an hour to get food." Yeah, he literally fucked off to go down to the cafeteria. He said he was meeting Shibayama there for lunch which makes me wonder why he's back this early. You would think that he'd stay down there with him for a little longer. "Why are you back this early anyway? Get bored of hanging out with Shibayama?"

He shakes his head. "Nah, he just had to go. He remembered some coursework he hadn't completed. So you're stuck with me for today." Well that's fun. There's nothing I'd rather do then spend a whole day in the company of annoying piece of shit Lev. He sighs. "Listen, if I'm really that much of a bother you might as well know that I'm going home over the weekend to visit Yaku." Well, I guess he noticed my irritated look for better or for worse.

I raise my eyebrows. "You two are still together huh? I'm surprised he hasn't got fed up with you yet." That was a joke, obviously. I'm pretty sure he knows I'm joking but if it genuinely upset him, I'll apologise.

"Haha very funny." He rolls his eyes. Yeah, he took it as a sarcastic comment. That's good. "Yes, we are still together. How are you and Hinata doing?"

"That was a low blow." I furrow my brow.

He chuckles. "Well, those who live in a glass house shouldn't throw stones. How did your little study date go, by the way?"

"It wasn't a date-" I cut myself off and sigh. I _wish_ it was a date but that's because I am a simp for the guy who emotionally manipulated me during our short relationship in high school. "It went ok..." I might as well tell him what happened, he is my roommate and it's good to have _someone_ to confide in, even if they are really fucking annoying. "He told me he still likes me and I still like him but it's complicated because... well, you know what happened in high school. I feel like I should, like, ask him on a date or something but I don't know if I can trust him or not."

"Ooh scandalous!" He's smirking now. Don't just smirk about this! It's not a laughing matter, thank you very much, it's very serious! "I think you should go for it. Just start with one date and see how it goes. And I know I didn't know you guys that well in high school, being from Tokyo and all, but I genuinely think he's changed."

I look down at my hands, tugging at my fingers as I think. "I guess you're right..." As I said before, one date won't hurt and we can see what happens after that.

"I'm always right. So you should arrange something with your man-"

"He's not my man."

"Not yet." He winks. Ew. "Anyway, invite him over while I'm visiting Yaku. It'll be fun."

I smile, just a little. "That sounds nice actually... thanks for hearing me out." I don't usually thank Lev for things in a non-sarcastic way but I think he deserves a thanks this time.

"Anytime dude."


	20. Chapter 20

**~Hinata~**

So things happened and here I am, sat on Tsukishima's bed with a movie playing on his laptop and a weirdly tense aura about us. I don't even know what movie's on. I wasn't paying attention when he put it on, I was busy trying to keep my gay under control. You feel? I feel. Anyway, it's a single bed so there isn't much room to move but we've managed to avoid touching each other as much as possible. Is that normal? Considering we're doing this in a romantic way, it's probably not normal. But can you blame me for being awkward? I didn't even mean to tell him how I felt! I didn't think he'd actually return my feelings either! I didn't think he outright _hated_ me, by any means, but I thought that, you know, the incident would've put off any romantic feelings for me forever. Apparently not though.

I don't know why I'm talking like it's a bad thing. Obviously, I'm over the moon about it. Who wouldn't be happy to find out that their crush asked them back and wanted them to come over for a date? Speaking of, do we consider this a first date? Because this isn't technically our _first_ date but it's our first date since we broke up. No, screw it, it's easier to just refer to it as our first date. Put the past behind us and move on, you feel?

"Hinata?" I snap out of my train of thought and look up at Tsukishima. "Are you ok? You seem a bit down."

I nod quickly, grinning up at him. "Yeah, I'm fine! Just thinking, you know?"

"Thinking about what?"

I shrug. "Oh you know, just things..." Yeah, things. Things like how crazy it is that you still like me after all this time. Wait, is this the same like as it was in high school? Like, did he ever get over me? Or did he fall out of love with me and start liking me again when we started spending more time together? Either way, that's so cute! I start playing with the strings of 'my' hoodie - it's not really mine, it's the one I nicked from him year ago. I doubt he's going to ask for it back at this point. It's been way too long.

"Oh really?" He raises his eyebrows. "What kind of things?"

I puff up my cheeks and fold my arms. "Don't say it like that, you make it sound weird."

"The only person making it weird is you. Maybe _you_ should stop thinking of things in that way."

"What way?"

"You know what way." He rolls his eyes. Well that's a bit rude. Way to assume things about me, jeez. What if I genuinely had no idea, huh? What would you do then? Not a lot probably, you meanie. "Don't give me that look." He sighs. "It's really not that deep. Now, what are you thinking about?"

"Ugh fine, you got me. I was just thinking about your feelings for me..." He raises his eyebrows again. Damn it, did that sound self centred? It totally did! I didn't mean for it to sound like that! "No I didn't- Uh-" I take a breath. I need to think of a way to say this properly without having a full on break down. I really, _really_ don't want to mess this up. "...I didn't mean for it to come off like that, sorry..."

He snorts slightly - like, full on snorts. "You really are worrying about this, huh?" And then he starts to ruffle my hair. I blush. This feels weird. It's a nice kind of weird but still, I wasn't expecting him to actually _touch_ me. Isn't that why we were sitting as far apart as possible without one of us falling off the bed? He's smiling down at me again. "Come on Hina, loosen up a bit. Didn't I invite you round so we could have a good date?" Oh yeah, I almost forgot that this is a date. My heart starts pounding again. Oh my god, we're actually on a date. "We can't do that if you're all tense."

"Ok, now you're definitely making it weird." I laugh a little and tentatively start to lean against his side. He wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer and suddenly my face is bright red (probably, based off of past experiences). "We're acting like a couple right now..."

"Hinata, this is literally a date. Aren't we _supposed_ to act like a couple?"

"S-shut up! It doesn't mean we _are_ a couple!" I pout.

He sighs. "Yeah yeah... I can let go if you want?"

I shake my head. "No, it's ok! It's nice." It is nice, it's comfy. I like cuddling with him, if this counts as cuddling - I'm just not sure what to call it.

He smiles. "Good, now shut up so we can watch the movie. We're just getting to the good bit."


End file.
